So I'm in control of the remote or the clicker, whatever you call it, for once -- tonight. So I'm checking out the On Demand stuff in the music category. They have U2 in there so I go and watch their videos from the Joshua Tree album. Gosh, that music just floods back tons of memories and looking at the info and seeing that it was made in 1987, it hits me hard and I realize that was the last year that we had all of our extended family members still here on Earth. And Bono, he looks so baby-faced, not the stubbily, gruff look that he's adopted in these last few years. Yeah, there's part of me going "well you've got a kid heading to college next year" so of course 20 years have passed by but there's another part of me going, you have a toddler, you can't be THAT old! And it seems like 1987 was just yesterday although sooo much has to have happened. I still feel like a kid inside (although admittedly I'm not as quick/good at Algebra stuff as I was 25 yrs ago). So then I go okay, 20+ years have passed and what have you accomplished? What have you saved? Are you still in the same rut from 20 years ago financially (yes!) How annoying is that!??!! About the only thing that has been consistent is that I'm still in a house full of people and lonely. My kids even ask what it's like to not have any friends. Nice, huh? But I just don't have the time or energy to devote to other people, I barely have time for my own thoughts. Albeit I am happy and content with my life. Back in 1987 seems now like it was a much simpler time. So much hadn't happened yet, if I had known what was coming, would I have done anything differently? Probably. I was still practically a newlywed then, driving my 1981 Nissan 200 SX still. Heck if I just list cars since then I know it's been a long time, let's see 1985 Dodge Ram, 1986 Buick Century, some old Ford we didn't keep long, then a borrowed 1979 Ford Fairmont, a station wagon that smoked that we donated to charity after I got a ticket 2 weeks after we scraped together money to buy it, 1991 Pontiac Bonneville, 1995 Olds 88, 2001 Saturn SL2, 1998 Ford Contour, 1987 Plymouth Voyager, 1997 Olds 88 and 2000 Plymouth Voyager. That's lot and lots of car payments. The one thing that is pretty similar is 1987 is about the time I first recall the American economy going in the toilet and having to see homeless people living outside and begging on street corners. I never saw anything like that growing up in the midwest or upon first arriving in California. Heck, I never even saw food stamps until I'd moved to California -- I'd never lived in an apartment before then either. Had been in houses my whole life up until my senior year in high school. Well I'm not sure if I feel better or am depressed after this post. It looks like all I've actually accumulated in this time is 40 pounds and probably an assortment of scars and wrinkles. I'm determined to take much better care of myself these next 20 years, that's for darned sure! I just wish I had continued to write in my journals every night so I'd have something to go back to review all the events in my life that I'm sure I've forgotten.